follow up

Well..... I've had time to process the craziness that took place yesterday. I have to say, that I do much better with things of that nature when I sleep on it. I can honestly say that one thing I've learned about myself is that I should not react immediately. My initial response to things like that is to attack. However, if I let it set. Sleep on it, and take a deep breath, I realize that when someone behaves in a certain fashion, I have no control over that. All I can control is my reaction to it.  I don't feel like I handled the situation with the self respect, dignity, and grace that I've tried to have throughout all of these really tough times. I've learned how to have more patience, more understanding, and I've had a lot of practice taking the higher ground. The problem is, there are times, like yesterday, that my knee jerk reaction is to give it right back to the drama causing  ass faces.

There is some satisfaction in standing up for yourself, and fighting back; however, you can stand up for yourself without feeding into the drama, and that's where I went wrong yesterday. I truly contemplated just ignoring her b.s., but instead of letting it rest, I grabbed the computer and set off to make my point.... and boy did I make my point. I can't say I'm sorry for what I said, or how I reacted. I'm not going to apologize to her, or anyone else. My reaction was totally justified. But, I will say that I'm a little disappointed in myself.  I have taken great pride in the woman I've become. I'm proud of myself for coming through the most horrible time in my life, and coming out on the other side, stronger, better and smarter. Smart enough to know that arguing with a child who's not even old enough to have a fully developed frontal lobe yet, is going to get me nowhere.  Smart enough to realize that me playing into her hand like that was exactly what she was hoping for. Smart enough to know that if you roll with the pigs, you'll end up muddy.

So, I haven't heard back from MMO, but if I do, it won't make the blog.....well maybe a mention here or there, but I won't post her nonsense on my blog again. That was the last of stepmama drama. I refuse to be a party to her infantile behavior. I won't go back and forth with her on here, or anywhere. As far as I'm concerned, she and I will never have the need to communicate, unless it begins with a big fat apology from her for her asinine behavior.

Clearly she doesn't like my blog...then why does she read it? Clearly she doesn't like me... I'm sure that's mostly based on what her fiance tells her about me. I really don't care. But what's the point of reading my blog, and stalking my twitter? My advice to MMO is to live your life, make friends, focus on your new home and your soon to be husband. Make your new life a happy one, because screaming at someone in all caps about how happy you are, isn't really believable. Spewing venom and shooting insults via email is proof of your unhappiness and misery. Focusing your disdain on someone so peripheral to your life is not only pathetic, it's sad. I am not the person making you unhappy. I am not responsible for your misery. I am not the one you need to convince that you are happy....in fact, I think you were only trying to convince yourself. 

I have nothing to prove. I've lived 2 of her lifetimes. I'm proud of who I've become and what I've accomplished. I do not need to put others down, or insult their accomplishments to make myself feel good. I do not need to worry about what others say or think about me. In fact, what others think of me, is really none of my business. The only thing that really matters is how I view myself. Truthfully, I'm probably harder on myself than anyone else could ever be. I am always striving to be a better person, to do better, to try harder, to learn  more.... I'm nowhere near being a finished product.... I'm always working on myself. Which is why I realize that I should have read her comment,  and then slept on it before I wrote a blog. It would have been a whole different blog. Honestly, today, I almost feel sorry for her......almost.....


Today was a better day.... I'm taking my own advice... today...I bought the shoes (today's photo) ;)



Life's short. Buy the shoes ;)